A Genuine Friend is a Priceless Treasure

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately and all those who play such an important part in my life. I am blessed to have many genuine friends. People I know who truly love and care for me and will always be there for me no matter what time, or what situation.
There are many people who are surrounded by their "friends" yet they are actually friendLESS. In actuality they have many acquaintances, but never build any solid relationships. Many people cannot identify true friends. They think anyone nice who comes along and stays a long while with them in life is a friend. There are “friends” and there are “genuine friends”’
So, who exactly is a “genuine friend?” A genuine friend has no self-interest when he befriends you. He loves you for you. Genuine friendship is rare...to find it is like looking for hidden treasure. If you want genuine friends you have to be willing to do the loving first. It takes risks. It takes possible rejection and possible hurt, but it's the only way we can develop genuine friendship.
Do not be choosy about people you welcome into your life. Welcome all. But sift those people you'd consider your genuine friends, as not all of them will be. As you welcome people, genuinely love them. As you do so, notice how they react. Will they in turn love you freely? Or will they only see your usefulness to them?
Determine those who will genuinely love you for who you are and not for what you can do for them. Learn to distinguish those who really care from those who merely take advantage. Develop a good eye for genuine friendship, and invest your lives in them once you see one. True friends love you with their lives as well. Once they see your genuine friendship, they readily reciprocate. Place your investments on friendships with potential for genuineness. By doing so, you lesson your chance of getting hurt once a so called friendship degrades to betrayal or abandonment.
Everyone experiences this pain from one or more relationships in their lifetime. It is important that you allow peace and happiness to return to you. If it hurts so much that it affects you terribly and bitterly, it only means the friendship was not genuine.
When you have spotted genuine friendship, invest on it and make it grow. Then make it last. How do you make it grow? The same way you make life grow--by love. Genuine friendship grows through love--unselfish love and that love makes it last.
Thank you to all my genuine friends. You know who you are. If you don’t than you are probably not one but thanks for reading my blog anyway!

Letting Go of the Hurt

Everyone has been hurt by someone they love and trust at one (or many) points in their lives. We may feel we were treated poorly, perhaps trust was broken. We may feel a betrayal of respect or a disregard for our feelings. Certainly hearts may feel torn and abused. When someone you care about hurts you, it can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, even thoughts of revenge. All of this pain we experience is normal. It’s okay to feel angry, taken advantage of, even heartbroken. But sometimes we allow those feelings to fester or linger on. Like a broken tape we replay in our heads, we relive it over and over and have a difficult time letting go. These wounds can leave us with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance. It can be easy to allow ourselves to dwell on hurtful events or situations. We may form, grudges filled with resentment. Instead, we need to learn to let go and forgive. If we don't practice forgiveness, we may be the one who pays the consequences. If we allow such negative feelings to take over we can lose touch of our positive feelings, and end up with nothing but the stale taste of bitterness in our lives.

So, how does one cope? One word…forgiveness. Wow! What a powerful word and so very hard to embrace at times. Sometimes we feel as though we will never be able to forgive the person for the pain they have caused us. But it is through the process of forgiveness that we are able to move forward away from our pain. Notice I said “process.” Forgiveness is indeed a process that can take a very long time. For some it may be a month, a year, even a lifetime.

What exactly does forgiveness entail? It is the decision to let go of the hurt, resentment and maybe even feelings of revenge. By learning to forgive we are able to keep our focus on the present and positive areas of our life. Depending on the cause of our pain, we may someday even begin to understand and offer empathy and compassion to the one who hurt us. It doesn't necessarily mean we deny or minimize the wrongdoing. It is forgiving the person without excusing the act. Through this process we are able to learn to let go and eliminate the tendency to hold a grudge
Grudges can wreak havoc on our lives. It allows the potential for anger and bitterness to enter into other relationship and situations. We can become so self-absorbed with the wrongs of our pasts that we are unable to enjoy the joys of the present. This causes problems. It not only causes us to be unhappy, but can strain or ruin other relationships, distract us from work and family and make us reluctant to open up to new things and people. We are afraid to open up and potentially get hurt again. We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.

It can be particularly hard to forgive someone who doesn't admit any wrongdoing. They may not even be aware of it. Yet, sometimes it is merely an authentic apology and expression of sorrow and regret that can provide the closure necessary for forgiveness to take place.

As I stated earlier, forgiveness is process. We have to let go of the perception we have of ourselves as the victim. We cannot allow another person the control and power of our feelings and the influence in our lives. We cannot allow them to define our life by the pain, hurt or betrayal they have caused us. We need to learn to let go. We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.

Looking at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror

At times I find myself thinking about the past. I think about all the various choices I made and roads that I walked down and wonder how things would be if I had made a different decision here or there. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. If only, What if, Why did I, Why didn't I?? We experience so many different choices throughout our lives. ...choices involving family, friends, school, careers, etc.

It's always been easy for me to form an attachment to certain things. These things can be people, situations, things, memories, etc. I consider this a good quality, however, there are times where people, situations, or I myself, have changed. This change can bring on the necessity of letting go. Sometimes one can form an attachment to something that isn't necessarily in their best interest or the interests of those around them. Once you've formed an attachment, it can be a difficult, even painful experience when you realize it's time to let go. I don't believe I am alone in this. Throughout our lives, everyone experiences things they find they must learn to let go of.

Letting go of your past and memories can be extremely hard. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain. Even though some old memories can be frustrating or seem agonizing, it can be difficult. At times I want to hold on to the past. Yet I know that holding on to certain things can serve as a roadblock to a better future.

Letting go can sometimes seem like one of the hardest and scariest experiences in my life. It is during these times, I have to stop and remind myself to turn it all over to God, taking a leap of faith into the unknown and letting Him work his will.

So what is the point of this blog? 3 simple words...I am learning. Well, maybe another 3 simple words as well...Just let go

I am learning that whenever something happens that angers or frustrates me, I should be thankful that nothing worse happened and just let go.

I am learning that when I falter or make a mistake, its o.k. to pick myself back up and just let go.

I am learning that when something or someone makes me feel fearful, anxious, uncomfortable, or unhappy, I need to remember all the good times and just let the bad go.

Letting go can be difficult and at times seem near impossible. But my time is "now". Not the past, not the future..just now! In the realm of things they don't really matter. I can't do anything except think about it. Why should I waste time thinking about things I can't change or things that don't yet exist?

I am learning to free myself from the past so I have the freedom to just focus on this moment right now. Now is all I have and all I'll ever have. So I will try to everything else just go. Letting go may be one of the hardest lessons in life. I will Let Go and let God.

Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself. ~ St. Francis de Sales

Learning to "patiently" wait is one of the toughest things to do at least for me. Waiting is one thing. I can wait in a variety of different ways. I can wait anxiously, nervously, angrily, or hungrily. When I wait for anything, I may be tapping my foot, pacing the floor, or more likely checking and rechecking my email and Facebook. I am either in angst or complete boredom.

Patience is a virtue, one that I have “patiently” been trying to learn but yet to possess in its entirety. Known to some as a JAP (Jewish American Princess), I'm someone who, like most, prefers instant gratification. In today’s world, most everything we want seems to be just a mouse click away. We can chat with someone immediately in a variety of ways. We can IM, text, email, and call almost whoever we want, whenever we want. In most cases, we receive an immediate reply.

My impatience reaches so many aspects of my life. I find myself getting easily discouraged and sometimes even angry when things aren't moving as quickly as I think that they should.

I desperately try to rely on my faith, knowing things happen in God’s time and not mine. I try so hard to “Let Go and Let God”. In some cases, God's really trying to make this clear to me. I know this because He’s extending the wait time on that specific area of my life and it's making me absolutely crazy .He's forcing me to learn to patiently wait upon Him. That means no foot tapping, pacing, or checking and rechecking my email and Facebook while I'm waiting for God to act.

Then there are the times that, when things finally do occur, it is not at all what I wanted or hoped for. I think "He might as well just ask me to change everything that I am!" And then an “A-Ha” moment occurs and I realize that is exactly what God is doing. He is building my character, teaching me to wait patiently so that He can renew my strength. I haven't quite got the hang of it yet, but I'm trying. I know that being patient with God will inevitably lead me to being patient with myself, others and the world around me.

Now I need to work on acceptance. For those times when the result finally arrives but it is not the one I was hoping for. Trying to accept that it's not about having what you want, but wanting what you have.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I have noticed several of my Facebook friends who have pressed their "Like" button regarding: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. This may be true. However, there are several reasons why I believe going to church should be part of a Christian’s life.

A relationship with God is not a one way street. It is not even a 2 way street. Let’s look at it as a 4-way intersection. It requires two focuses, vertical AND horizontal. We have our vertical relationship with God but we also have a horizontal relationship with other believers.

One important reason to attend church is for fellowship. It allows us to show love to our fellow believers. By doing so it also allows us to remain humble before God and to love and support others who are struggling with trying to live out the gospel just as we are. In addition, we benefit from being taught and led in worship by others. This is the horizontal focus of our relationship with God.
We all need to hear and be reminded of how others have struggled in the past, and were able to grow and live out their faith. We need to hear about the experiences of others and be reminded of God's love.

We all need a break from work, family problems, etc. to allow us to concentrate on the Lord and remind us that things we may be struggling with are only a small portion of our life’s journey. This can be so difficult at times. Through fellowship, we have others we can count on to help us make it through (as well as rejoice in our good times). We can share in the successes and failures of others.

God did not make us to be alone. By seeing how the Lord has worked in the lives of others, we are all encouraged. In church we are able to not only hear the word of God explained and how it applies to our lives, we also see how God works have played out in those around us. We learn to apply what we have learned from God's word and are able extend it to others outside the church.

WIll you still love me even if I am not perfect??

I came across something today that really touched my heart. Although, I did not write it, I wanted to share it as part of my Blog. It is by Jocelyn Soriano.


Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect? Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wished I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should, though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades, my knees tremble this very moment that you hold me in your arms.
Shall I kiss you? Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit knowing that I have my darkness, knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed by the darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you. I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me. Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me. I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together. Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today. Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean. Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt. And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways. I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say things I shouldn’t say. And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart

The Most Precious Gift

Looking back over my first two blogs, it is easy to see the common theme throughout. It appears my thoughts have been stuck in relationship mode. I decided I would stick with this (since apparently I am on a roll) and go with the flow.

My kids. I never thought I could love someone as deeply as I love my children.
My husband. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore this amazing man I have been married to for 25 years. But nothing can come close to the love that a mother has for her children.

Being a mother is a role that, at times, feels downright impossible. There have many an occasion when I wanted to do nothing but sit in the middle of the floor and cry. Then something happens. It could be something as simple as a homemade card that brings tears of a different kind to my eyes and reminds me that it is all worth it.

Being a mother is, at times, heartbreaking. Watching my children go through painful experiences and knowing there was nothing I could do for them has brought on feelings of helplessness. If I could, I would bring them a lifetime of nothing but happiness. I would gladly take their sadness and pain upon myself rather than have them go through it. If only I was able to provide them with all the tools they would need to succeed in all their battles. For there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my children to bring laughter instead of tears into their lives. But I can't. No human can. Instead, I can help them to understand the love of their heavenly father, how His will works in their lives, and how they can count on Him to fulfill every need they will ever have.

I can’t give them happiness, but I can feel it with them. I can’t take away all their hurts, but I can share them. I can’t give them strength in times when they need it the most, but I can try to be strong for them. I may not be able to change how they feel during their hard times, but I can be there for them, to help them through it.

When my children were little, I was able to hold them in my arms, to rock them gently and to comfort them. I may not be able to do so now (especially with MY back) but they will NEVER be too big, too heavy or too grown up for me to put my arms around them and whisper in their ear "You are the most precious gift the Lord has ever given me. I love you."